WORST EVER A-LEAGUE JERSEYS AND THEIR BIZARRE STORIES

A livid Tony Walmsley threatened to glass designers Byron & Deni

Central Coast Mariners 2015/16.
The Mariners raised controversy with this ad for holistic medication in 2015/16.

 

Zhang, Yuning - Brisbane Roar
Zhang, Yuning sporting Queensland Roar’s 2006/07 abomination.

Pictured here is China’s Zhang, Yuning. Zhang was voted as one of the worst players to ever don the Brisbane jersey by Brisbane Roar blog insidetheboxfc. But is it any wonder the Chinese forward saved his worst for the A-League? Who could find motivation when confronted with this abomination every time you took the pitch.

You can see the strip was influenced by the club’s Dutch links, and just like The Netherlands, Queensland Roar (as they were known at the time) never did anything special in these colours. They’ve since moved to a predominantly orange strip complimented with black. Meanwhile, their Chinese import made only six appearances in the orange colours before returning to China to play with Liaoning and later (2014) managing the Fujian Broncos.

 

Central Coast Mariners 2015/16.
The Mariners raised controversy with this ad for holistic medication in 2015/16.

In 2015/16 Central Coast Mariners fans were forced to watch their team run around in what was to be awarded the Apparel Designer’s Golden Razzie. Mariners head coach Tony Walmsley is said to have played a role as designers were given a brief to incorporate the iconic Central Coast Stadium palm trees into the playing strip.

The initial design cast two palm trees on the players sleeves in a minimalist approach. But when a livid Walmsley threatened to glass designers Byron & Deni the award winning design team eventually decided to plant a big blue palm tree in the middle of the playing strip. The embarrassing design saw funny guys the B-League parody the jersey with the famed masterfoods sauce squeezer and Side Show Bob.

The jersey coincided with a worst ever bottom of the table finish by the Mariners.

 

 

Ned Zelic Newcastle Jets 2005/06.
Some call it gold, most call it baby sh#*. Jets 2005/06.

The Newcastle Jets announced themselves on the A-League stage with the vomitron in 2005/06. It can’t be denied that the jersey had an impact, but it was an impact far from desired.

It’s reported that 237 fans were rushed to hospital on the first night of the A-League when the Jets travelled to Adelaide. Fans were so sickened by the sight of the guernsey many went into shock. Ambulance worker Joe rated it one of the toughest nights of his ambo’ career. “It was like a war-zone. Or a Macy Gray concert. There was so much v-v-vomit,” he stammered. A-League authorities were forced to provide sick bags at all Jets away games for the remainder of the season.

Alarmingly, the club reprised the vomitron as an away strip for 2015/16 and 2016/17 seasons. Explore Football has already sounded out FIFA’s Safe Play Committee in a bid to have the jersey taken out of circulation.

 

 

Tom Rogic Central Coast Mariners. A-League.
Rogic was forced to wear the ‘rash vest’ after losing a FIFA 2011 game.

Central Coast Mariners’ 2012/13 home jersey was a blight on the Hyundai A-League. The competition prides itself on its appearance and seeing one of the league’s struggling clubs sporting an undesirable nylon rag was damaging.

Sources at Gosford tell us that current Socceroo Tom Rogic was forced to model the ghastly skivvy-like guernsey after losing a FIFA 2011 Playstation game with Adam Kwasnik. Its been given the nickname ‘the rash vest‘ by most along the coast for its resemblance to the famed surfwear item. Kwasnik apparently sends rash vests to Glasgow to remind Rogic (now at Celtic) of his woeful FIFA performance that day. A little known fact about the incident is that 23 year old Rogic was using an A-League team against Kwasnik’s Barcelona team. Unfair is not the word.

 

 

Robbie Fowler. North Queensland Fury. A-League
Fowler hated the Fury strip.

The short lived North Queensland Fury announced themselves to the A-League with a daring green & green & white strip in 2009/10. With high hopes for the northern outpost, FFA recruited marketing team Advance You to undertake intensive research on a playing strip that matched the fans’ desires. But with a funding shortfall Advance You were never paid and the marketing team understandably never released their data.

With just one day before the design deadline the club’s owner Don Matheson asked his 11 year old son to help him put something together for the Fury. Little Ruben Matheson was hopeless at design so he called on his friend Gavin who won the Townsville West State School Diorama Award the year before.

The result of Gavin and club owner Matheson’s late night was the green & green & white strip. In a shocking revelation our insiders have told us that star recruit Robbie Fowler actually left the club due to the horrendous green & green & white jersey and not on account of issues with manager Ian Ferguson as some media outlets had implied.

Sterjovski - Mariners. A-League.
Sterjovski modelling the Mariners pink strip for 2012/13.

That’s our Five Worst Ever A-League Jerseys. Feel free to comment on which jersey you think takes the ‘ugly’ cake. A special mention goes to the Central Coast Mariners for their pink charity strip sported in 2012/13. The Gosford club that seem to make ugly easy were able to sell 21 of the pink jerseys that year with the remaining 179 given to the Woy Woy St Vincent De Paul shop.

 

 

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: data on jersey sales from unverified sources. Also, some incidents described above may have been exaggerated.

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